Wednesday, September 14, 2011

What It Feels Like For a Mother

I've been asking a lot of questions about motherhood recently. I'm preparing to be married and with that comes the possibility of children (God willing!)...and it's something I have a lot of head knowledge about but little deeper understanding. Thankfully, I have some great friends who are mothers that don't mind answering my thousands of questions. Today I was able to have a lovely conversation with a friend that went like this:

Friend: "Being a mother is a concrete, constant reminder of sacrificial love. It has given my life a more beautiful, deeply meaningful depth than I could prior understand. My life is not my own, it belongs to my kids in that they completely depend on me to meet their needs. At times I hate it because I don't have a choice. I love them and so I sacrifice for them. But with that sacrifice comes a continually deeper love and in that love I am drawn closer to God and brought fulfillment. In that sense, being a mother bring my fulfillment."

Me: "Do you think there is a way to fall into a negative side of that? Like to lose sight of the fulfillment and grace it brings?"

Friend: "Sure, actually quite easily with little ones who seem to need ALL THE TIME and rarely say thank you."

Me: "Through being a mother and the self-sacrificial love of that you become more you. Do you think it is possible to lose yourself, who you are, become less you, by losing sight of everything? Make it all about self-sacrifice instead of about God?"

Friend: "So like play the martyr instead of actually being one. Makes sense to me. Instead of being who I'm meant to be, which happens effortlessly, being who I think I ought to be, which takes great effort. I think the intent is good but it's misguided. Maybe looking for fulfillment in the action instead of through the action."

All for the Sacred and Eucharistic Heart of Jesus, all through the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, in union with St. Joseph.

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